Sorry for not updating earlier. I actually had a holiday, so one could say “Okay, so AF will do everything he can to push his projects a little, right?”
I’m going to do a small confession and a small rant, and hopefully you can understand my position. It has something to do with the fact whether I upload less. I don’t wanna say too much info, because I’d expose someone by accident. And I don’t want to say it in a way that makes me look like “this is a problem I have, I blame this problem but not me“, this problem comes from me and only me has the power to solve this problem, I blame myself for being born with this problem and it’s up to me to solve.
I am sensitive to noises, and even when I close my door and windows of my bedroom, I still can hear the TV at high volume (despite they claim that the volume is okay), I still can hear heated discussions, I still can hear the drama, the ridiculous complain of “Ugh, these fucking rich people at TV are idiots“…
After a long day at work filled with stress, no one would want to go home under these conditions up there. Even when I put my headphones for music and noise-cancelling headphones at the same time, there’s something happening there that I can hear. Always. And that includes holidays. I tried talking to them, but it always finished with unnecessary confrontations, leading to colder situations.
That’s why I work at my comics, including The Yuri Paradise, at 3:00 AM, that’s why I wake up at 2:45 AM. A time where there’s absolute silence and peace and no one and no undesired sound can bother me. And if it keeps going I may wake up at earlier hours.
I need to find a way to overcome this sensitivity, because that’s part of me and it’s a responsibility I have to take care. I know that listening to certain music with certain sound waves or white noise can help, however that doesn’t solve the problem, it alleviates it, because I tried it before. At the same time, I have to push myself to draw more and more.
End of rant.
I don’t like writing these kinds of texts, but in this occasion I think I needed to vent and at the same time -at least, what I hope with this- to give you an explanation on what’s happening. It’s not a call for encouragement, and it’s not a call for attention, make no mistake.
Anyway, I hope to fix this problem and hopefully I will upload more often at the same time.